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by Dorathy Lachman February 14, 2019

Dating is a fun time in life.  We were young and care-free.  We talked about everything under the sun… and one thing we discussed was Valentine’s day.

We had some ground rules to establish, and one of those was exactly what I expected on Valentine’s day.  I thought it was pretty simple, really.  I didn’t want flowers, I didn’t want chocolates… in fact, I didn’t want anything.  And that’s exactly what I got.

I told my husband that if he loves me, he can love me on Valentine’s day the same way he loves me every other day.  I didn’t want a show, and I didn’t want extras.  I wanted him – the full, genuine version of himself.

But being newly-married, I had a heart for the young single ladies who were fed the same guilt that society tried to feed me.  Somehow I was supposed to feel less than full… like I was missing out because I didn’t have a man bringing me a dozen roses and a box of chocolates.

I don’t think they really tell you what an emotional ploy it really is to raise prices on roses that at best may last a week or a box of chocolates that will be discounted in less than 24 hours.

Who was I to do anything about it anyway?  I was young, newly married, and simply frustrated with the whole situation.

It was my husband who actually came up with the idea, which I think was brilliant.  He offered to work late on Valentine's day so I could have a formal dinner with my single female friends.  

So I prepared a fancy meal and homemade cheesecake for these wonderful ladies.  We laughed and enjoyed being together.  We appreciated each other just the way we were.  And we didn’t have a single red rose in the house.

Don’t worry, I saved my hubby plenty of dinner and dessert.  He actually helped me clean it all up after the ladies left.

At the end of the day, both he and I wanted every one of these wonderful ladies to feel loved and appreciated just for who they were.  Because love is genuine… it’s not earned and it’s not manipulated.  There was no need for these women to feel less than lovable simply because they didn't have a dinner date. 

Over a decade later, we still have yet to celebrate Valentine’s day.  And I’ve never missed out.  In fact, my favorite day to buy red roses and chocolate is in the clearance aisle every February 15th.

Dorathy Lachman


Dorathy Lachman

Hi, I'm Dorathy! I started Hyssop Tree to connect difference-makers through community. If you're new, welcome! Take a look around and be sure to explore the blog for more interesting articles and the soaps page - where every soap you purchase helps someone in need. Also, I'd like to invite you to join our community - once or twice a month I send out a letter to my pen-pals. Just sign up below!

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